And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
this is an emotional support booty call
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
