bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
