he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize