they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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