did you get engaged???
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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