just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
