yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
