How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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