I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
