where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
