i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
