I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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