I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Someone shattered a urinal.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
