We need to start having sex underwater more often.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
