i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
