So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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