New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
