Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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