You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize