Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
