So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
