get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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