Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
