That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
