They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
