You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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