i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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