Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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