Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i think i have herpe
just one?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
