You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
