no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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