...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
