I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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