found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
