No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
