the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
