yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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