dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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