Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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