I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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