i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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