He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
