If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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