Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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