I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
