At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize