There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
