I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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