hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
