don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
