do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
