Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
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i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
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He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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