i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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