i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
