i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
