The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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