Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
