The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
