im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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