I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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