Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
