Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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