He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
