I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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