My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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